Ramble : How Social Anxiety Feels

I have extreme social anxiety. I have a social disorder. And no-one ever seems to understand why I don’t like leaving my home. So I’m going to write this post.

Imagine you’re standing in a pool. When you’re at home, by yourself, you can sit at the bottom of this pool and not worry about everything. Every person near you adds just a little water to the pool. Some people a lot more than others. When you go to big events, where there’s lots and lots of people, the pool will fill up. It will go up past your head, and you can’t swim, so you’ll be gasping for air and terrified and trying to paddle to the surface, but more people just keep coming and coming so more water will go into your metaphorical pool until you can’t breathe. And that’s the part of social functions where I retreat into the bathroom to have a panic attack. This happens about 99.999% of the time I go to social functions.

Any other socially anxious people who can relate?

Ramble : Moments

Do any of you guys ever have those moments, where you’re laughing with a friend or running around outside, crunching leaves under your feet, or zooming against the wind on your bike, where you just stop and think about how wonderful everything is?

Do you just stop and think about how amazing it is that you have such wonderful friends and live such an amazing life, and you’re healthy enough to do these things and you’re alive to experience them?

If you don’t, you’re missing one of the best emotions. I have had many, many highs and lows that I can remember, and there’s only two highs that make me feel this wonderful : this moment I just discussed, and the moment of euphoria when I finish writing a story and I’m still convinced that it’s the best thing mankind’s ever wrote, before reality sets in.

I’m writing this because I haven’t had any of these moments lately, and I was just thinking about them and missing them.

When’s the last time you had one of these moments? What brought it on? What’s your favorite feeling in the world? I think you can comment on these posts, so leave a comment and tell me. I’d love to read them.

Ramble : Impact

I swear to you, no matter who you are, no matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done, or how old you are, that you’ve impacted someone’s life.

At the very, very least, this has happened once in your lifetime, although this probably happens weekly or daily.

Your parents, your siblings, your relatives, you impacted all their lives.

All of your friends, you’ve impacted theirs.

That man you smiled to when you were passing him in the grocery store? That girl you said hi to when you walked past her in the sidewalk? Maybe they were feeling ignored and beaten down by life, and your smile or words gave them hope again. In that way, you impacted theirs.

That woman you opened the door for? You reminded her that chivalry isn’t dead, no matter how hard people are trying to make it so, you gave her something to think about, even just for a second, and in that way, you impacted her life.

The pizza delivery boy you tipped 5$? He might have used those 5$ for gas for a road trip he was going on, to see all 50 states. You might have helped fund his life long dream, and thus impacted his life.

I can attest to you, personally, how many strangers have impacted my life, most by their kindness – sometimes as simple as holding open a door or smiling or getting something off a shelf I can’t reach.

I remember reading about a man who left a suicide note saying he was going to walk to a bridge, if no one smiled to him when he was walking there, he would jump. He ended up jumping. Think of how much someone could have impacted his life just by smiling at him. You could do that with a stranger.

So, in summary, go out, conquer the world, but remember to smile and say hi while you’re doing it, because you never know how many lives you’ll impact with just the smallest of gestures.